Field Notes

6.November 2008
10:00pm
Jaisalmer
The past three days Erik and I visited villages with URMUL staff (either Vimla-ji or Maga Ram, or both). The first day we visited Chandan, which is about 45 km from Jaisalmer. When we arrived at the village we went to the children’s center, which is set up and run by the government. It is free for children in the village to attend the center in the mornings to be watch, receive vitamins and then a lunchtime meal. There are three female workers at the center, each who earn about 1000 rupees a month (which is about $20) for their daily work. When we first got to the center, they brought out a little girl baby whose birth was celebrated. It is a big deal that this little girl’s birth was celebrated because girl births are not a source of happiness for most Indian families (especially if there isn’t already a son in the family).

There is a male preference in India and this preference has led to female infanticides and more recently, female feticides. The male preference comes from a desire to carry on the family name, inherit the family land, and have a son to perform the proper rituals at the time of the parents’ deaths. When a girl child is born she is seen a burden to the family because she will require a dowry at marriage and then will leave the family to live with her husband’s family. It is tradition for the women to leave her birth family’s home and live with her husband’s family after marriage. These ideas that a girl is a burden have also led to girl children not receiving education or if they do receive education, it is of a lesser-standard than boys and they often do not study past 5th or 8th grade (because then they will need to work in the house and then be married off).

Male preference used to and still does result in female infanticide, however since the 1980s when the ultrasound was introduced to India, female feticides have been taking place. In 1971 India passed the Pregnancy Termination Act that allows for abortions from 0-20 weeks in the cases of 1. Child not capable of normal life outside womb; 2. Mother’s health at danger; 3. Rape or incest; and 4. Failure of contraception. This is a very progressive act and was a huge success for the women’s movement in India. However, since the introduction of the ultrasound, couples have been using sex determination tests to see if the fetus is male or female and if it is female then they go to have an abortion. Sex Determination Tests are illegal in India, but they are still done because it is hard to enforce. There is an estimation that since the early 1990s there have been 36 million female that should have been born, but are not alive. These are the 36 MILLION MISSING GIRLS OF INDIA. The sex ratio in India is incredibly low. Countrywide it is in the low 900s (this means 900 women for every 1000 men). In Rajasthan, the state that I live in, it is 906/1000. In Jaisalmer where I am living now and working it is around 800/1000. In some states, like Punjab it is as low at the 700s/1000.

I first learned about this from Dr. Meeta Singh, who came and talked to Rachel and me during our Public Health track of our International Development course. Dr. Meeta Singh is a women’s activist who is pro-choice for women, but also anti-sex selection. She has been leading the efforts to “Save the Girl Child.” She has worked with URMUL in their efforts to education and organizes villages and communities in the Jaisalmer area. Dr. Meeta Singh is the reason that Erik and I are working with URMUL. Although this program with URMUL has now finished (it ran from Jan. 2006-July 2008, but is not done because the funding is gone), there have been some changes that have taken place. And, the URMUL workers continue to make field visits, like the one Erik and I made to Chandan.

So, we first met the little girl baby whose birth was celebrated. Then, we talked with Maya, one of the center’s workers, about the status of girls and women in her village. Maya is illiterate, was married at the age of 12 and had her first child at age 16. She has four children-three daughters and one son. Two of her daughters are already married (at age 16 and 17) and her other daughter will be married in one year, when she turns 18. (The legal ages for marriage in India are 18 for females and 21 for males-And of course this is all for heterosexual marriage, because homosexuality is illegal in India). Maya earns about 1000 rupees per month from her work at the center. She has been working with URMUL on the issue of female feticide. She is the leader of the Women’s Self-Help Group in the village (which consists of about 10 members). Through the Self-Help Group (SHG) she has also taken a small loan to start a little store that sells staples like rice, sugar, etc. As the leader of the SHG, she leads the women and youth group members to celebrate the births of girl children. Since girl children are not wanted (at least not until there are already boy children), it is not a happy time for families when a girl child is born. It is even institutionally enforced with some doctors and nurses saying congrats when it is a boy and “better luck next time” when it is a girl. Family members and friends won’t come to visit women when they have girl children, and it is often a great disappointment for the mother and the family. (This also results from the reality that many women aren’t given a status in their community until they have had a son.) So, Maya has been doing important work for girl children. But, at the same time, she thinks that boys and girls are different and that a girl’s place is in the home. She thinks girls and boys should be educated separately because they are different. When I asked her about her hopes for the future, she said for her family she wants basics like a cooler and a sewing machine for her daughter to sew, and for her community a hospital with a doctor (right now there is just a small clinic with an ANM- Auxiliary Nurse Midwife, which is part of the government medical delivery system), and for her country to be strong. We also spoke to her daughter and her son-in-law (the father of the celebrated girl baby), and they both disagreed with Maya, saying that they think boys and girls should be educated together. So, it does seem that there are some changes taking place, however change has been very slow. Also, another big issues is that once of the reasons that NGO workers use for girl children to be valued is that without them there won’t be anyone for the men to marry (which is true, but not actually real women’s empowerment for the sake of women!). Also, all of the marriages I have been discussing are arranged marriages, which is the predominant form of marriage in India (at least from my observations and conversations with Indians).

Our second village visit was to Vimla-ji’s village (which, of course, is her husband’s village). We first went to Vimla’s home and met her five children-four girls and one boy (Vimla is happy with all of her children-especially her girls!). Three women from the village came over and we talked with them a bit about the differences of men and women in the village. We also learned that Vilma’s eldest two daughters will be married in a year or two. Her daughters, Jyati (20) and Preeti (18) do not want to be married. When I asked Jyati if she wanted to be married, she said no, and then when I asked why are you getting married, she said “unjustly-unfairly” and Preeti said “my family is forcing me to.” I then asked Vilma about this and she agrees with the girls and doesn’t want them to get married if they don’t want to. So, I asked, who is arranging this marriage then, and was told that it is the paternal grandparents who are insisting on the marriages. Vilma, Vilma’s husband, and the girls don’t want the marriages, but the grandparents do, so the marriages are already arranged, but will take place in a year.

At the third field visit we met a man who recently had his legs amputated, although because of lack of translation ability, I’m didn’t find out the reason. We also met some other men and a young man who has been working with Vilma and the community on issues of female feticide. Another little girl baby was brought out for us to meet, so I asked if her birth was celebrated, and they told me that it was, and that sweets had been given out on the occasion of the girl’s birth. The little baby was so cute and they handed me the baby to hold. Then, while I was holding the little baby girl, they brought out a baby goat for Erik to hold! Too cute!

Tomorrow, we will visit another village. We are scheduled to be in Jaisalmer doing these field visits for two weeks and then we will go to a different Urmul office to observe some of their other development programs. Our days are filled with challenges and frustrations (like facing the injustices that so many women face) and at the same time with joys and beauty (like the baby girl celebrations and the baby goat). I am learning the importance of establishing strong relationships with community members and listening to the needs and wants of people, even if they might be different from my own. I am learning that sometimes and for some things we must find compromises and for others we must stick our ground. I am also learning that even if a situation seems hopeless, like the discouraging sex ratio numbers, this doesn’t mean that all hope is lost or that no one is working to change this situation. As I have seen with Urmul and especially with Vimla-ji’s personal life, there are huge strides taking place everyday. Also, even though I have just taken two and a half pages describing this issue, I do not mean to or want to paint the picture or idea that all Indians have these unjust ideals. Many don’t agree with sex selection and value boys and girls. For some male preference is more dramatic than for others. And for so many, like so many of us all in the world, people are stuck in societal and familial expectations and traditions. So, I am not placing blame, but rather offering field notes and observations from these visits and the information that has been shared with me by Dr. Meeta Singh and other educators and activists here in India.

I would also like to state that during my time in India I have tried to be very intentional about not placing my own ideas and judgments about feminism and gender relations on Indian women and men. I know that I come from a different culture and the needs of men and women and communities might be very different from those of people here in India. The form of feminism that works in the United States is not necessarily the best for India or other places. Also, the form of feminism in the United States has also lead to backlashes like hyper-masculinity and hyper-femininity, so I am not advocating for US feminism (or more specifically white, middle-class feminism) to be the standard against which all other forms of women’s empowerment be measured. So, while I have been trying to listen to what women and men have to say in India without interjecting my own ideals, I have found that many Indians do see sex selection as a big problem and are working hard to educate their fellow Indians on the issue.

7. November 2008
10:25am
Jaisalmer

Yesterday Erik, Vuta Ram-ji and I visited the village of Amarsagar, where we met with women and children at the government children’s center staffed by three women and the village ANM (Auxiliary Nurse Midwife). We all sat on the floor of the front porch of the center on woven blankets with children and babies playing and crawling around our laps. Throughout the discussion some women would get up to leave as it was time to go home and prepare food, some women would nurse the baby that had been crawling by their feet, children would come, watch, play, and then go off with other children again. The women were open and animated with Erik and I as we asked them a variety of questions surrounding issues of sex selection, sex ratio, dowry, domestic violence, livelihood, hopes for the future, marriage, children, husbands, etc. This village is about 15 kilometers from Jaisalmer in the hot, dusty desert but the women were full of energy and life even as they spoke about how alcohol is a big problem because when their husbands drink they come home and yell and beat their children and wives. I asked the women if they want this situation to change and they said they do, but there isn’t really anything they could do about it. Their husbands make the decisions in the home and they can’t refuse him because if they do then where will they go? I asked how they think the situation could change and they told me that they think the government should help.

We started the session by asking if the birth of boys and girls is different in the village. The women responded by pointing to one of the women in the group and telling that this woman has 6 children. The first 5 births were girls and so she was very sad and kept having children. Then when the sixth child was a son, she was very happy and didn’t have any more children. When we asked if there were more boys or girls in the village, we were told that there are more boys than girls. I asked why that is and was told that “its God given.” I then asked if there were any interventions done that caused more boys than girls to be born and was told no, that it is just God-given that there are more boys. (Of course, this isn’t true, as we have learned from all of our field visits and discussion with the NGO workers.) When we asked why boys are preferred we were told it is because of dowry and the girls leaving home to live with their husbands. So, I asked if the women like the dowry system. They told me that they don’t like it necessarily, but it is their tradition and so it has to be done. At this point I decided to ask the women if they like being women. They all laughed at the question and responded that when God created them, they were unfortunately made women. They said that if they could have asked to be anything, they would have asked to be men.

Unlike in Chandan, the boys and girls of Amarsagar attend school together at the school in the village that goes to 8th grade. All of the women agreed that boys and girls can go to school together. I also asked them if boys and girls are treated the same once born, like are the fed the same, treated the same, etc. The women said that yes, the boys and girls are fed the same.

Marriage was also a large topic of discussion with the women. Some of the women had been married as young at 9 or 10 years old, but there were a few women who had been married in their twenties and even one who was married at age 30. The ANM of the village was married at 10 and had her first child at age 16. One of the women said that her husband had some health problems and so she kept trying to get me to take him back to the United States. I told her that I don’t even have or want my own husband right now, why would I want some else’s. Throughout the discussion the women kept offering for me to come and live in their village. They said they would find me a nice match and that they really want me to have an Indian wedding. When I told them that I don’t want an arranged marriage they told me that is okay, I can choose, but that they want me to have an Indian wedding so they can sing at my wedding. I asked if any of them had love marriages (none of them had) and they told the story of a young couple that only yesterday had a love marriage at the temple. The government does not recognize a temple marriage and the girl’s parents had both of the couple arrested and now they are in jail!

When the topic turned to reproductive rights, such as choice of number of children, choice of having an operation to have no more children, the women told me that this is their husband’s decision.

7, November 2008
5:00pm
Jaisalmer

Today Erik and I visited Mulsagar with Vuta Ram-ji. This is a village about 10 kilometers from Jaisalmer. There weren’t any rickshaw-taxi-buses headed in that direction, so when a tractor passed by Vuta Ram-ji asked the driver to give us a lift. When we got to Mulsagar we visited the home of Preemi, an incredibly hospitable and energetic woman whose eyes seem to laugh. Right from the start she told me that we are sisters. After I held her grandson, I was given a decorative bindi to wear and nail polish to paint my finger and toe-nails. Preemi painted my nails and then after we had tea, she called some of the village women over to talk.

They were a group of about 5 women and we asked them similar questions to all of our other field visits. We were told that there are about 90 children in the village and that there are equal numbers of boys and girls. I was surprised by this answer so I asked if boys and girls were valued and desired the same. Preemi said that she loves the boy and girl children the same, but it is true that there is a preference for boys. However, they did say that girl births are celebrated. I asked each of the women how many children they have and if they are boys and girls. They then asked me how many children I want and when I said 3, Preemi said “two boys and a girl?” I said no, 2 girls and a boy, or maybe three girls, it doesn’t matter, as long as the children are healthy. The women all began discussing then how much dowry I would have to pay, to which I informed them that we don’t have dowry system in my country. They said that is good, that they don’t like dowry, but it is their custom and culture.

As in Amarsagar, boys and girls are educated together, but the village school only offers education until 5th grade. All of the women work in the home and when asked if they enjoy being women, all said that they wish God had made them men. I asked why, and they told me because men are free to go wherever they want and women have to stay in the home and do so much work. They asked if I liked being a woman and I said yes, I do. They asked why and I told them that I think they are strong women and that women’s work around the world is so important and the world wouldn’t function without it even though it is undervalued and often unpaid. They told me that they would all like to work outside of the home and asked me if I could find jobs for them because they are ready to work. So I asked what work they would like to do. They said any work. But I wanted to know what they really were interested in, so I asked well what would you like to do more than anything else. All replied that they would like to weave and sew clothes. I asked if their husbands would allow them to work outside the home and they all said yes. I also asked who in the family makes the decision to have more children or not. Preemi told me that both the husband and wife make the decision together.

The meeting wrapped up as I asked if they like wearing the bangles that are up on their biceps. Preemi said no, that they hurt the inside of the elbow and that they are hot. She then took hers off and put them on me for me to try. This led to trying on their whole dress and taking lots of pictures. This of course led to conversations about me having an Indian wedding, just like in Amarsagar!

I feel honored to have such close and open conversations with all of the women that we have visited so far during our field visits.